….it’s coming up quick :-
December never agrees with me and this year is shaping up to be no different. I remember several years ago, back when I was a big online journalling guru (in my mind) I wrote an entry detailing all the horrors of my December over the past however many years….at this point I’ve lost count. Not that anything truly horrible has ever happened during the month….and often the big deal of December is something good……the month just never goes smoothly, never just sails by…..I can never just fa-la-la-la-la through December…..last year was close…….close enough so that I even had time to knit gifts for people, but I still wound up with a few more gray hairs…..and this year we’re moving. I may not sleep till February.
It’s just not right, I mean I love December….I love the cold, I love Advent and Christmas and in the end everything works out well….it’s just the anticipation that kills me. Tonight I was forced to look at a calendar in order to figure out specifics for December….and as I type this I am quite sick to my stomach. Is this some bizarre form of Seasonal Affective Disorder….December Affective Disorder! I don’t want to commit to anything because I hate leaving the house between Thanksgiving and like January 15th….and not because it’s cold – I love the cold!! – I just hate going to stores or near stores and around here everywhere is near a store…..good thing about this year is that I’ll be off for the whole week of the move and I’ve got jury duty the following week…and any break in the work routine can make the month just fly by….I’ve also got a few hours of personal time that I have to use up before the end of the year so that should help….actually, that could help a lot with scheduling….hmmm.
FrG and I have been talking….well, e-mailing….back and forth for a few days about setting a date when we can get together around Christmas and I am just in a panic….I mean I am dying to see him, haven’t seen him since July….but he wants to see the new place and I want him to see the new place so he can bless it for us and all but I am so afraid that it’ll still be a total disaster by then and that we won’t have any money for anything so we won’t be able to go out and I know anything I cook will just turn out horribly because I want it to be just right and when am I going to have time to do anything because everyone wants that week off and what on earth should I give him for Christmas this year???
Do you see what I mean….and if this is the biggest thing I have to deal with for December, I’ll be happy…..heck, I think if I can get through this week, I’ll be happy….I really am quite nauseous right now :-p