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How Do I Stop?!?!?

I started back to work at the beginning of September last year, after 7.5 weeks of maternity leave – waaaaaay to short in the grand scheme of things but especially considering the fact that I had a c-section…..but the bills have to get paid, right? So at this point…..I’ve been pumping at work (and a little at home) for almost 11 months.

I’m done.

To be honest, I was done 3 months ago when I decided that I officially hated pumping.

See, this is not me……

Never was. I mean, yeah, at first I kind of welcomed the breaks………but now it’s more like this……

However……..I wanted to at least make sure that Amelia had breastmilk to drink at the daycare until she hit the one year mark….so I kept at it and we started introducing rice milk and coconut milk because I felt they were more acceptable snack-time drinks at this point than plain old whole milk. And my grand plan was that once Amelia was officially one year old, I would hang up my horns – leave the pump at home and never ever look at it again……until next time.

But…..I don’t know how!

I intended to get up on Wednesday morning after my little vacation and just nurse Amelia and head off to work, kicking my pump bag as I walked past it and start sending my freezer stash with her for as long as that would last…..it wouldn’t be long.……maybe two weeks.

Amelia wasn’t really interested in nursing much Wednesday morning, though. She’s pretty well reverse cycled so she had nursed a good bit during the night….but not enough……so I picked up my pump bag and walked out the door. Yesterday morning, she was a little more interested…..but I brought the pump just in case and I didn’t use it. By the time bed time rolled around, she had managed to nurse a good bit of the over-abundance but I was a little tempted to pump before I went to sleep……again she nursed well during the night, but I felt over-full on one side this morning and she only wanted the other side so I dragged the pump along with me and took a break again………

I just don’t know what to do here.

And honestly, at this point it’s not even a matter of me just not wanting to do it anymore…..my employer only provides for lactating mothers for 12 months after birth. I’m officially past the 12 month mark. If I hadn’t changed jobs back in February, I’m sure that I would not be having this dilemma, it would have been a non-issue…..not that they could tell me I can’t pump on my lunch or anything, but I would be doing so either in my car or in some remote public bathroom. Thankfully, my new boss is much cooler, having breastfed all four of her own children for at least 2 years….two of whom are currently breastfeeding their own children!! But…..should something unforeseen happen, policy could come and slap me in the face :-\

I only pump once during my 7.5 hour shift and then nurse on demand the other 16.5 hours…..but I have no idea how to cut out that pumping break and A) not be completely miserable and uncomfortable and B) not eff up my “weekend” nursing – lol :^) I would really love to hear from any other working mama’s that have weaned from pumping but continued to nurse – any and all tips, tricks and whines (and wines!) welcome!!